CREATED FROM WITHIN: True Beauty comes from the Inside!

 They say we can actually turn our ashes into beauty and become TRUE WOMEN OF ENCOURAGEMENT. Of course this is indeed a true statement, but it will definitely take some work on our behalf to make this stage of metamorphosis come into effect. Nothing worth having comes by us very easily. In life, we have to work at much but the true work is, "CREATED FROM WITHIN, because True Beauty comes from the Inside!"

Recently, I received a very profound prophecy from a very inspiring woman of God. She posted on my facebook page (Purified Daughter) and this is what she had to say,

"Greetings to you Woman of God. Blessings as you walk into this New Year Greatness awaits you. The Father has much in store for you. Too whom much is given much is required. I am stretching you beyond your physical altitude but your spiritual man is able to handle it. I called you to be a Spiritual mother even at a young age you will mentor and train those that are much much older than you. There is so much wisdom and knowledge that lies inside of you. The Words that I have placed in your mouth is like an axe that cuts to the root and destroys. People often misunderstand you WOG but you must speak the heart of God" 

Wow, talking about the timing of God! Those words were so profound and rich; they actually warmed my heart like an energy efficient 100 watt light bulb. It was just like yesterday when I actually heard those exact same words from the Spirit of God as He spoke them directly to me. It all started in 1997, I had a baby son. He was my 4th child and all of them had been out of wedlock. Life was very challenging for me back then. I often imagined life full of heartaches and pains. I was so tired of having babies, but I was not tired of having unprotected dirty sex and being a straight unclean fornicator. Each time I had a baby out of wedlock , I saw God's mercy upon my life when he birthed forth new healthy baby in the form of a beautiful sociable lovable butterfly, but this time after my fourth child I begin to feel very remorseful and sadden in my heart that I had once again turned my back on God and fell into the trap of the sexual sin once more. This pain in my heart was unbearable and I was at a stage of death or totally surrendering my life to Christ, but all I knew was that a change was indeed mandatory for my life. So, I did what was in my heart at that time. I knew I did not have enough will power or strength to keep me away from sinful sex, so I decided to play God and made the worst decision of my life. I did what we always so, act before we think to consult it with God first. The thoughts begin to travel from my mind to my heart then they slowly begin to resonate in my inner most being. I profoundly heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say, "Don't do it!" The Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit came soft but as my thoughts begin to take over me, the Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit became louder and louder. My deep passion and struggle of consumption was leading me to a place of death. Of course, I could not hold on any longer. I had the nurse in the room with the paper work and the pen starring me right in my face. I had bitterness and anger pressuring me from within. I had pride and arrogance guiding my inner being. The Holy Bible says God always give us a way of escape in time of trouble. Of course, I knew the scriptures from a young age. My grandmothers (Ruthie Mae Calloway & Percie Bell Peak) use to always quote the scriptures in the form of wisdom to me and my aunt (Patricia) carried me to church at a young age. I had my mother pounding the truth in me with her ways of scolding and loud tone of voice each time I went in the wrong direction. So, truth was indeed lying dormant within me but only the nurture of love from a Spiritual mother and a protective Father (God) could bring the truth alive with in me. 

Ashes, "What do they represent?" Ashes...(Black or Grayish in color) They symbolize a place of darkness. I often refer to this place as the Darkness of the Depth of Death-- They represent a place where we have traveled with dark gloomy days and nights filled with all the seasons of our disappointments, pains & hurts.  A place where we have made a logical decision to go grieve and spiritually die. It is also the only place in our lives where we actually feel most accepted because everything in this place is familiar to us. It seems no human being is ever able to reach us in this place of the deep because we have placed walls (shielded walls of protection) to keep everyone out and only the pain within. This is a place where we become accustomed to the many negative voices and actuality give them a personal form and reality. We have the power to create, so we give the negative voices life because they keep replaying what we have already heard in life. The ole' record keeps playing: You will not amount to anything. You will be good for nothing. Nobody wants you. You are stupid. You are crazy. You have no purpose in life. You are fit for nothing but to be a whore & a bitch. No man will ever want you. You will be broke walking in lack all the days of your life. I hate you. I wish I should have never had you. I should have aborted you from the beginning. I wish you were dead. Darkness of the Depth of Death is a place where we store all of our ashes; it a place of death and it is a place where no life exist. As strange as this sounds, some how many have made this their most sacred place of comfort.  

The year 1997 of January 20th was a year for me! What am I to do with four children now as a single parent, I thought. Like it was not hard for me before, it is even much harder now. The inner voice kept replaying these thoughts. Once again the Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit kept saying, "Don't do it!" As a last warning before destruction, the Lord brought my cousin and her husband in the hospital room. After their arrival, the nurse finally pulled back and I could feel a bit of relief from the pressure of her presence, but her softly spoken voice said, "I have left the papers for your signature on the side table." My cousin in her intuitions of prophetic notions saying, "What papers?"  The nurse quietly rushed  out of the room. As the husband of my cousin, picked up my baby son, my cousin also picked up something--"THE PAPERS!"

Well during this time I did not know this couple was having a difficult time with child-bearing due to medical issues. Over the years, they have tried many times but it seems all hope was lost. 'But God!' Somebody say, But God! We know that one word from God can change our lives completely. The bible has an account in Isaiah 55:11,"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

My cousin spoke in love after she finished reading the papers. She said to me, "cousin don't do this. This is a not from God. God has always made a way for you and those babies and he will continue to provide for you. He loves you so much!" Then, she looked at her husband holding the baby and my soul became heavy for them, but only for a brief moment because bitterness and anger were still the root of my heart. As I was lying in the hospital bed my inner thoughts had finally come to fullness and I was in full agreement with my decisions. I decided to go forth with what I felt was the best choice at that time but not once thinking of the ramifications that my selfish actions would cause me later in life. My cousin reached for the baby and as her last words of plea spoke to me, "maybe one day God will use you to carry a child for my husband and me." 

Well, surely those words come across to me as death although they were meant to be life. I was too far gone in the darkness of the depth of death for any words of life to reach me. I was not in a state of giving so in return I did not know how to receive. I was not in a state where God could begin to penetrate true beauty from within me. I was not yet ready to be liberated. I was lost, I was in a place of darkness. I had allowed my thoughts and emotions to entrap me and I was not ready to allow myself to be set free. I begin to feel very tired and restless so after a while enjoying their spiritual visit, I waited patiently for them to leave so I could just get it all over and hopefully feel better in the morning. Before they left my cousin kissed me. A warm kiss from her reminded me of how my grandmother Ruthie always kissed me on my forehead. It was a Kiss of Love; one that was supposed to speak volumes to me and bring peace and easement to my soul by saying everything will be alright. But if only grandmother Ruthie was at the hospital, but instead she was home waiting so anxiously for my arrival with the new baby so she could give him the proper blessings over his life. She had no idea what I was about to do with THE PAPERS! I was so afraid to phone her to tell her because I knew what her response would be at the time. I knew how she would take charge as a Spiritual Mother and talk me out of my very own decision.  So, I kept very silently until after I made my very own proclaimed adult selfish decisions. I waved good bye as my cousin and her husband left the hospital room. Slowly, I felt the withdrawal of the strong presence of the Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit as it became quieter and quieter within me, until eventually I could barely hear him. I was ready to act without any thoughts of righteousness. I picked up the call button and signal for the nurse to come in my room. I wanted to ensure this would be all over before I rolled over to take a long nap. Swiftly, she comes in the room and I told her I had decided to sign the papers. I had reached for the pen, but could not grasp it. She graciously picked it up and given it to me. I did it! I had signed the papers, not knowing my rights as a patient, but I did it. Finally, I thought it is finally over.  I actually made an adult decision all alone for once in my life; I signed the papers! The nurse carefully held the papers very closely to her and turned away and walked out of the room. Afterwards, I tried to turn over to go to sleep but the Prophetic Voice would not allow me to rest. I tossed and turned in the hospital bed in much pain. This pain was not from having a new baby, but pain from within my troubled anguish soul. I heard the Prophetic Voice as He spoke so profoundly to me. This time the Prophetic Voice really frightened me, but it was a fear of reverence. The voice sounded an alarm like that of my grandfather (Charlie) when I knew I had done something terribly wrong. The words of my grandfather and the Prophetic Voice were exactly the same. They were words spoken with a voice of authority but still in love.  The Prophetic Voice said to me, "What have you done? Because of your disobedience you shall never bare another child in the natural. But I shall make you a Spiritual mother of many."  Still not knowing my rights as a patient, I lay very cold and still in my hospital bed, grabbed a pillow and placed it over my face and I wept. It felt like I had done something terribly wrong, but in my own wisdom I just knew I was right. My tears were many like drops of a thunder storm that flooded the darkest valley. I wept and I wept until I finally fell asleep. 

My response to her:(Prophetess Whitby),

Thank you Woman of God (Prophetess Whitby) for being obedient to the Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit. It is indeed the Spirit of God that speaks through you... You are a Woman of Life & Truth. That very profound word you posted on my wall brought encouragement to my soul. SHALL I SAY A TIMELY WORD, INDEED! ♥

You are indeed a Spiritual Mother in authority and spoke words of inspirations to me and finally awakened the destiny that was lying dormant in my life. Many have come before her and God caused them to move swiftly out of my life because none had the MASTER KEY of Love to unlock God's purpose driven destiny for my life as you (Prophetess Whitby). Bless you Woman of God...I receive that message with love! I could recall the day when HE spoke those exact words to me on being a Spiritual Mother. I kept asking him to allow me to bear more children in the earth, but he said because of my disobedience for signing (THE PAPERS) to get a tubal ligation, I shall never bear another child in the natural but he shall make me a Spiritual Mother of many. Some may ask, "What is a tubal ligation?" A tubal ligation or tubectomy (also known as having ones "tubes tied" (ligation)] is a surgical procedure for sterilization in which it prevents a woman from being pregnant again. In other words, she becomes barren to child-bearing. Tubal ligation is considered a permanent method of sterilization; and so is birth control pills over a period of time. None of this is the plan of God for a woman. I do not care how safe the world or doctors say it is to be, but this is outside of the "Will" of God. This is only a temporary fix and leaves a  permanent spiritual scar for years to come, but  God is able to heal us over a period of time through many stages and it is often many struggles on our behalf.  

Somewhere along the years in my mind, I forgot HE, being God Almighty, spoke those words to me in 1997 after I had my last child. He is not a God that wavers in what He has spoken. I spent 9 years of my life devoted to praying for a husband and praying to have another child and even to the point of agony and pain crying like Hannah was crying out to God, but God has not changed his mind toward me. First, I did not love myself as God loved me and how could I ever find patience to love a husband and find time for a new baby. God plainly stated, Because of my disobedience I will never bear another child in the natural but He will make me a Spiritual Mother of many. I thought within myself, now something is serious wrong with God. There is no where in the bible where it mentioning of such and I know this did not come from God. I laughed! This leads me to the question, "What is a Spiritual Mother?"  "

"The Epitome of A Spiritual Mother"

Titus 2:3-5 (KJV)

3) The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 

 A Spiritual Mother is simply all that a natural mother is to a family, plus more. She helps point people in the right direction; and that is in God's direction. She also provide proper examples to younger women (and often older women) and young girls to teach them Christian character and their responsibility as Godly women in the society and in their home. She also labor in prayer for others, especially those she is called and assigned to spiritually by the Spirit of God. She pours love into the lives of others as they face their greatest fears and most devastating heart aches and pains. She is like a hot bowl of chicken soup to a hurt sick person with a contrite spirit, she always come to heal the soul. Oh my, don't we need Spiritual Mothers in this crucial hour! 

I have been so consumed by the thought of being married & bearing another child until I have neglected my own healing and position to be fully prepared by God to be a Spiritual Mother. I was told by several doctors I need to undergo a major surgery, but I have refused to have it because the surgery will totally ruin any changes of me every trying to play God again with my life and disqualify me to bear another child ever again in the natural, I thought. Hallelujah, oh, really, the light bulb finally fits properly in the socket! Well, God said I would never have another child in the natural anyway, but does that means I have to put my faith in man to go ahead and have the surgery to remove body parts that are not causing any problems because that is what they have medically suggested. Besides doctors are not God; their licenses only says "License to practice..." Of course not, I am not anyone lab experiment; I wholeheartedly believe in divine healing. I have seen God heal me since childhood in many areas of my life. Since 2006, God healed me after the doctor's said I would never walk again and was going to be forced to take several pills a day for my entire life, but somebody say, "But God!" I stand before you today a  healed woman in that area. I am walking again, running, and of course just about every woman's desire is to strut a pair of nice high heels shoes. Well, I have several for every day of the week since the doctors said I would never walk again. Also, I did not have to take the medication they were forcing down my throat. God is the Great Physician. God is THE HEALER. He revealed Himself to His people as Jehovah-Rapha. (The Lord your Healer, Exodus 15:26). He wants to heal those who are sick and hurting. 

God is real and He does not change; not even for the crying, righteous and pure at heart. His plans shall manifest in all of our lives and go forth because His thoughts and ways are not like ours. (Isaiah 55:8-9). He knows what is best for us as our Creator.  

Just a few days ago the Prophetic Voice of the Holy Spirit spoke and said to me that God was testing my character and for me to stay focus. What a process! When I tell you He is doing just that, I speak not from my own power and strength but from the newness He has replaced within me when he removed my ashes and delivered me from the place of darkness of the depth of death. He has given me hope and some days I still fail the test, while others I pass, but at least I see what particular areas he has to do His greatest cutting on while I am still in the Spiritual surgery room. In a dream last night, I was surrounded by all these children; lots of them and they had presents like it was my birthday; some wrapped others not. We went to this beautiful green field and sat around this table (almost a last supper event) but it was many more children. We start to sing spiritual songs as they gave me their presents for this new BIRTH day celebration. It was amazing! Then, the dream flipped and I was in the hospital room with my late grandmother, Ruthie, on the day she passed this side but went to be home with the Lord. I remember lying on her shoulders and Jesus spoke to me and said to me she was not going to stay dead; she will live. So, I wheeled her into the operating room and the nurse come in and I told her Jesus told me my granny was not going to die. Then the nurse started to use a shock method to bring her back to life. The doctor was passing by then he stopped to come see what we were doing. I asked him, "Do you believe in Jesus?" He responded with a strong voice and sparkles in his eyes, "Yes!" The doctor touched my granny's forehead and replied, it is cold. Then, I told him to touch her neck & chest because they were still warm. He did and said she is in there some where. Then, the doctor said, if Jesus said she will live then let him do his work. So the doctor soaked a large white sponge and wet my granny all over from head to toe especially in her stomach area. Then, the doctor and nurse used the machines again to shock my granny. The doctor instructed the nurse to turn up the machine volume of power to 75. A loud noise proceeded from the machine, but only this time the shock gave off a very bright sparkling light. Suddenly, my granny started to grasp for air as she was trying to breathe. As I walked the operating room praying and speaking in my heavenly languages (tongues) I was being an intercessor for my granny's new birth. Right before she started to grasp for air to breathe, I saw what I describe as a miracle right before my eyes. I saw my granny walking toward this bright light and she was smiling. Then we felt her body and more heat begin to fill her body. My granny had come back to life. She was really alive. Suddenly, the doctor spoke to me and the nurse. He said, "Don't broadcast that Jesus told us to do this because people wont believe us anyhow; only the ones that need to know what happened is the three of us  and as far as the others, God will reveal as HE pleases."

So, in the dream my granny got up after staying in the hospital care for 7 days and she was stronger than ever. She started to get dressed but I saw myself in the dream appearing as my grandmother. Then, I saw my mother as she arrived to pick me up from the hospital, but I looked like my grandmother, Ruthie. I saw my mother as she was waiting so eagerly to go to church and worship the Lord. It was really indeed a miracle.  IT WAS PHENOMENAL. Strange as this sounds, I awaken this morning to look in the mirror and I saw my grandmother Ruthie's spirit of love, patience, and modest within me. I saw her huge heart of compassion that she often demonstrated toward others. I looked closer and my hair! Oh Jesus, my hair has begun to turn snow whitish (grayish) just like my grandmother, Ruthie's hair. I am only 37 yrs old with gray hair, I thought! I know it is God working within me and he is turning my ashes into beauty. 

They say there are 3 C's in life: Choice, Chance, & Change. We must make the Choice to accept the Chance and if we want anything out of life , we have to accept the Change!  Years ago, I had to make a choice I was going to stay focused and exercise much compassion and patience by demonstrating love just as my grandmother once did when she walked the earth.  That was exactly what my granny use to do all those years I spent with her and listened as she departed pure WISDOM in me at a young age before her home-going service with the Lord. My grandmother said to me many times, “Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” I thought, another folks tale. We rarely ever take the wisdom we have gained from the elders to heart. We should! The book of Proverbs talks about how Wisdom is the principle thing. Often in life many people do not understand me because they do not know what I am doing and I do not always disclose everything all at once. I am fairly a very private person. I am a visionary person too and we never die to spiritual sight. Many people that often misunderstand me are the ones that think and operate in their own selfish understanding in the earth. Many of them have come to the notion that they have arrived and are higher in authority than others. They walk in a false illusion of wisdom and confidence, or whatever gives them fulfillment or brings life to their flesh. In reality, they are puffed up in self. It's a form of arrogance and pride and they have not chosen to let go of the fleshly man and come to a place of complete surrender so they may experience a divine healing by God, The Great Physician. The bible has an account, “I wish above all things that you prosper be in good health just as your soul prospers. (3 John 2)  Only in a place of complete submission can God begin to transform us from Ashes into Beauty. I am charged to keep praying for the people who misunderstands me because they are still in a lost place where I once found myself when I signed, “THE PAPERS” in 1997. I have chosen to pray and keep an oath of silent on some things and yet as the Holy Spirit has instructed me to do so speak on others. As you read continue reading, I pray you will allow God to equip you to begin your stage of metamorphosis and guide you to a place of complete surrender and move you to experience his freedom for your life as He has mercifully done for me. I am more at peace in my life daily than I ever have been my entire life. Trouble still knocks on my front door, but only this time I don't have to answer; I simply just send Jesus to the door. The tears still come, but only this time they are tears of gladness (Joy) instead of tears of sorrow. God was able to reach me in a place where I had gone & thought there were No RETURNS!

 
Blessings to each reader and do know you are not here by chance. You are here because God has chosen you to be his purified daughter as He takes you through the tunnel of healing. You do not have to be a filthy rag for anyone. Allow God to turn your Ashes into Beauty as He transforms you more into His Image. God love is unconditional. He loves you so much until He gave his only son, Jesus Christ for us. His love for us has never changed; he is still trying to give to us even now. Will you allow God to transform you, into the Light of Love and make you The Bride of Christ?

Until next time: I Love You & its all about REAL TALK,

Purified Daughter ♥

www.purifiedhealings.com

 

(c) 2011. All rights reserved. Purified Poets.